Beauty and the Burden

People mentioned having a soft heart is a good thing; this makes you kind every time you behave, which means you care. Most of the world likes soft-hearted people. But they didn't mention that it could hurt you badly as you cannot imagine the world at that moment. A lot. Kindness is great, but when it hurts because you feel everything too much when the friend is crying, you are too; when a stranger is passing in a bad mood, you got it too. When it becomes a burden on your heart that you cannot speak to someone, how badly it hurts that someone's pain is your pain.

"The beauty doesn’t come with the sadness but burden does." 

I don't know they tried to make me the kind person, but how to turn it off, correct myself that it’s ok if the stranger is said, if they are not in the mood to be good every time. The people also mentioned that being the kind that isn't kind and having a soft heart is good. They told me to be on my own, correct myself in a better mood, and not make everyone's business your business, but I think it's too late to be initiated. I tried, I really tried. I told myself to stop caring so much, To stop making people's problems with mine.  But it never worked like that because how do you stop feelings> how do you stop your heart from feeling something about the reaction which has been going on for all these years?

I have been called too sensitive, too emotional, too cringy about myself Like it's bad thing Like being able to feel more is my weakness now. I don't think it is, if it is why they told being a kind for the world, because they are liked.

Everyone wants to be loved, liked, encouraged, and complimented, and they want everything they want. But how could it be my weakness? Not all the time, I guess. Because even though it hurts, even though my heart is too open and too emotional to be exposed, I don’t want to be a kind person who doesn’t care too much. I don't want that too much all the time to be numb. I don't want to talk throughout the without life moved by anything.

I just wish sometimes that I could not feel anything.

Some day, it has its own beauty to be kind; you help someone who is drowning, trying to be less motivated, Unappreciated and less conditioned from their own families. It has its own beauty, but sometimes, it's so heavy that I have to cry out too loud to be kind; that would always be forever to feel everything so deeply that it almost breaks me. Sometimes, all I need to do is sit in silence so the silence can talk with me with the burst of words I have in my mind for no reason. Maybe it’s not something I can fix now; perhaps this is what I am. May be the world needs the kind person like that, they need people like me even if doesn't always make space for us. Maybe feeling everything is worse for the people who are kind and soft-hearted. Perhaps it just means that I'm alive.

It's both the beauty and burden to feel everything so deeply.

Thank you for reading! Your reading is very important for us.